Tonight I found myself in handcuffs, kneeling in front of a squad car with a gun in my face. My epiphany in that moment: The hood just got too damn close.

On July 10th I got a text message at work from my girlfriend, telling me the intersection down the street from our house was blocked off by several police cars. I was walking through a car garage just over Wishard hospital when an ambulance pulled in, followed by 3 squad cars. Officer Jason Fishburn had been shot while in pursuit of a murder suspect. While my girlfriend told me about the swat vehicles arriving on scene, I watched as doctors comforted grieving family and co-workers.

Around July 21st we had new neighbors move in. An older man, a younger mother, and her two small daughters. I came home after work on several occasions to find the lass outside courting what I assumed were male suitors. Within a week there was violence, as her male friends began beating the living shit out of her older "boyfriend".

Tonight I was driving home as normal when a police officer pulled out behind me. I pulled into my street and he turned with me, at first tailing me very closely then backing off. I pulled into the parking of an abandoned ice company down the street from my house and the officer passed me by. I turned around and tried to find parking in front of my house, however my street has become very populated and there is only parking on one side. So I had to back into the ice company again. Just as I had backed up so did the officer, and he pointed both his light and his gun at me and made me approach his car. Hence I ended up on my knees with my hands cuffed behind my back and a gun in my face.

I always heard stories from people I know about being pulled over because they "fit the description." Apparently someone had broken into a laundry down the street wearing all white. The only witness described them as being a "black or light skinned" man. That's a very broad description, and since my work uniform is a white shirt and khaki pants, I guess I fit it pretty well. Subjectively I know I could be upset. I went from coming home from work with no place to park to being suspect to a felony in a matter of seconds. However when I re-evaluate it objectively, I can see that the overall issue was subjectivity. Subjectively that officer saw that I was dirty, wearing all white, a black or light skinned male, and behaving strangely with my car. It also helps that he wasn't a prick, and listened well enough to understand that I was innocent even before the eye witness identified that I wasn't the guy.

I'm living in the middle of the hood. Run down buildings all around me, niggaz out hustlin all around me. Yet somehow I have hope that maybe, just maybe, an objective view of this situation can provide me with the different perspective so desperately needed. I pray to god I survive long enough to find it.

My new URL: [link]